Back home, and I simply need to keep my focus on Him.
I simply need to keep my focus on Him.
I’m back home in Michigan now! I returned this past Thursday afternoon and have been taking time to rest since arriving home. It’s usually difficult for me to relax when I know I have a to do list that needs to be worked on and only so much time to get everything accomplished. But this past week I’ve been fighting on and off sickness and once I arrived home I realized that I still had some symptoms and was forced to just be still and relax and recover. I’m still recovering now but have been feeling better than I did previously. During this time of recovering I’ve been trying to not freak out— again, I have a to do list of things I need to prepare and do before heading to Peru and when things need to be done I can tend to want to do all the things ASAP. But as I brought it all to prayer I felt like the Lord wanted me to put the to do list to the side for a moment and write out a post.
If I’m being completely honest in this moment it’s hard for me to write this post out. I feel like there’s a storm raging on around me and it feels like it’s all going to come crashing down on me. Yes, I know that sounds very dramatic and ultimately I will be fine and Christ will help me to accomplish all I need to but in this time I need to over and over keep reminding myself to turn my focus to Christ. Earlier this week we had a reflection and brought it to prayer and during that time I had two images, one of a raging sea storm and one of a calm sea and Christ standing on the water in front of me inviting me to walk towards Him. As I reflected on these images I felt like Christ was reminding me that the sea is always calm even when I feel like it’s raging on around me. Christ was reminding me to keep my eyes on Him for when I keep my focus on Him it doesn’t matter what else is going on because when my focus is on Him I don’t notice the storm. When my focus is elsewhere then I begin to feel like there’s a storm raging on and that I’m scared of drowning in my worries and cares.
Currently my checklist feels like a storm and if I let it it will come crashing down upon me, but despite that I’ve been striving to rejoice in this. The Bible verse that has stayed with me this whole Intake (and which I know will be my bible verse for 2020) is 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. “Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
During this time of training every time I’ve had a difficult situation come up, every time that I’ve been overwhelmed I’ve paused and praised the Lord for the situation, praised the Lord in the struggle. Even when I didn’t feel like praising: I praised Him and thanked Him. For even when I couldn’t see Him at work because of the struggle, I knew He was still at work and still with me. Even as I write this out and praise the Lord for the list of things I need to do I feel like a weight is lifting. My checklist is not an overwhelming storm and I’m not hopeless in this time. God is so good. He knew that I needed to sit down and write out this post and reflect on all of this, I could have just let the weight of my checklist overwhelm me and procrastinated and made myself even more overwhelmed. But God wanted me to sit down and type out all that was going on and allow Him to work through what He has already taught me to bless me again and again. Praise God for His goodness :)
This past Wednesday we had our Commissioning Mass and at that Mass the priest prayed a special blessing over us. While he was praying that I was reflecting on my journey to this. The journey of God calling me to be a foreign missionary. Moments of my journey this year flashed through my mind and I couldn’t help but feel blessed. God was reminding me how He has led me to this moment. God has called me to this— God has called me to be a foreign missionary and He made a way for me. There have been many moments that felt like mountains that were unmovable, seas with storms raging and God always moved the mountains and calmed the storms. He makes a way through all things. He’s showed me during this time of training, especially during my time in Mexico, that He’s truly called me to this. In Mexico I felt like He was confirming even more my call to this. I saw Him at work through me even in moments where I felt weak. He worked through me even when I didn’t feel Him close to me. He reminded me that He can work through my weakness.
During training He also revealed to me that there were things I was holding onto that He wanted me to let go. Earlier this year in my prayer I felt like the Lord was saying to me, “Come with open hands: trust.” And during my time in training He revealed some ways I didn’t have my hands completely open to Him— the ways I wasn’t truly trusting Him with my future and He was able to help me to let go of it all. It’s so freeing to let go of things that we think we want but the Lord knows we don’t truly want and to strive to trust Him with our future. He knows the plans He has for us and I can joyfully trust Him with my future.
As I’ve been reflecting on the future I’ve also been reflecting on what my mission is, and I know that my mission today and always is to focus on Christ here and now. It’s not to focus on my checklist. It’s not to focus on what I can’t accomplish now. My mission isn’t just going to Peru. My mission is to focus on Christ and what He has for me and know that He will lead me, know that He has the most amazing plan for me. Christ is at work in each and every moment. And yes, Christ is calling me to Peru to serve with three other wonderful ladies and I need to trust that God is going to make a way for us. Christ has already made a way and I simply need to be where He has me now and take it one step at a time.
There’s no storm around me: Christ has calmed the sea and I simply need to keep my focus on Him.
Photos from the Commissioning Mass:
I’m back home in Michigan now! I returned this past Thursday afternoon and have been taking time to rest since arriving home. It’s usually difficult for me to relax when I know I have a to do list that needs to be worked on and only so much time to get everything accomplished. But this past week I’ve been fighting on and off sickness and once I arrived home I realized that I still had some symptoms and was forced to just be still and relax and recover. I’m still recovering now but have been feeling better than I did previously. During this time of recovering I’ve been trying to not freak out— again, I have a to do list of things I need to prepare and do before heading to Peru and when things need to be done I can tend to want to do all the things ASAP. But as I brought it all to prayer I felt like the Lord wanted me to put the to do list to the side for a moment and write out a post.
If I’m being completely honest in this moment it’s hard for me to write this post out. I feel like there’s a storm raging on around me and it feels like it’s all going to come crashing down on me. Yes, I know that sounds very dramatic and ultimately I will be fine and Christ will help me to accomplish all I need to but in this time I need to over and over keep reminding myself to turn my focus to Christ. Earlier this week we had a reflection and brought it to prayer and during that time I had two images, one of a raging sea storm and one of a calm sea and Christ standing on the water in front of me inviting me to walk towards Him. As I reflected on these images I felt like Christ was reminding me that the sea is always calm even when I feel like it’s raging on around me. Christ was reminding me to keep my eyes on Him for when I keep my focus on Him it doesn’t matter what else is going on because when my focus is on Him I don’t notice the storm. When my focus is elsewhere then I begin to feel like there’s a storm raging on and that I’m scared of drowning in my worries and cares.
Currently my checklist feels like a storm and if I let it it will come crashing down upon me, but despite that I’ve been striving to rejoice in this. The Bible verse that has stayed with me this whole Intake (and which I know will be my bible verse for 2020) is 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. “Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
During this time of training every time I’ve had a difficult situation come up, every time that I’ve been overwhelmed I’ve paused and praised the Lord for the situation, praised the Lord in the struggle. Even when I didn’t feel like praising: I praised Him and thanked Him. For even when I couldn’t see Him at work because of the struggle, I knew He was still at work and still with me. Even as I write this out and praise the Lord for the list of things I need to do I feel like a weight is lifting. My checklist is not an overwhelming storm and I’m not hopeless in this time. God is so good. He knew that I needed to sit down and write out this post and reflect on all of this, I could have just let the weight of my checklist overwhelm me and procrastinated and made myself even more overwhelmed. But God wanted me to sit down and type out all that was going on and allow Him to work through what He has already taught me to bless me again and again. Praise God for His goodness :)
This past Wednesday we had our Commissioning Mass and at that Mass the priest prayed a special blessing over us. While he was praying that I was reflecting on my journey to this. The journey of God calling me to be a foreign missionary. Moments of my journey this year flashed through my mind and I couldn’t help but feel blessed. God was reminding me how He has led me to this moment. God has called me to this— God has called me to be a foreign missionary and He made a way for me. There have been many moments that felt like mountains that were unmovable, seas with storms raging and God always moved the mountains and calmed the storms. He makes a way through all things. He’s showed me during this time of training, especially during my time in Mexico, that He’s truly called me to this. In Mexico I felt like He was confirming even more my call to this. I saw Him at work through me even in moments where I felt weak. He worked through me even when I didn’t feel Him close to me. He reminded me that He can work through my weakness.
During training He also revealed to me that there were things I was holding onto that He wanted me to let go. Earlier this year in my prayer I felt like the Lord was saying to me, “Come with open hands: trust.” And during my time in training He revealed some ways I didn’t have my hands completely open to Him— the ways I wasn’t truly trusting Him with my future and He was able to help me to let go of it all. It’s so freeing to let go of things that we think we want but the Lord knows we don’t truly want and to strive to trust Him with our future. He knows the plans He has for us and I can joyfully trust Him with my future.
As I’ve been reflecting on the future I’ve also been reflecting on what my mission is, and I know that my mission today and always is to focus on Christ here and now. It’s not to focus on my checklist. It’s not to focus on what I can’t accomplish now. My mission isn’t just going to Peru. My mission is to focus on Christ and what He has for me and know that He will lead me, know that He has the most amazing plan for me. Christ is at work in each and every moment. And yes, Christ is calling me to Peru to serve with three other wonderful ladies and I need to trust that God is going to make a way for us. Christ has already made a way and I simply need to be where He has me now and take it one step at a time.
There’s no storm around me: Christ has calmed the sea and I simply need to keep my focus on Him.
Photos from the Commissioning Mass:
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| Receiving a cross and a hug :) |
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| Receiving a special blessing. |
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| Intake 2019! We're all FMC MISSIONARIES!! |
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| My Peru teammates! From left to right: Rachel, Anna, Rachel and Emma Grace. |
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