Week two: Stretched
Week two: Stretched.
I've now finished week two of Intake! Time flies by fast! I was super tempted to simply keep out the difficulties of this week, but then that wouldn't be sharing exactly how this week was for me. So if I had to pick one word that would describe this week for me, it'd be stretched. Why? Because I definitely felt stretched this week. When reflecting on it, I thought of why you stretch before you exercise. You stretch so you don't strain or injure your muscles or joints, if you don't stretch you are more likely to injure yourself. And when it comes to stretching, you can encounter stretches you haven't done before, or haven't done in awhile and they are more difficult because your body isn't used to being stretched in that way, but it's definitely worth it at the end. And you continue to stretch, you don't simply do it once. You stretch before exercise, and after exercise and overtime it isn't difficult because you're used to that stretch.
This week I felt like I was being stretched inside in ways I hadn't before. And honestly it was super uncomfortable and difficult at times, but I know it was worth it in the end now looking back, as when I allow myself to be stretched by the Lord I will be that much closer to being able to run the race He has me on.
Now, in what ways this week was I stretched?
We began this week with an internal healing retreat, which we had Monday-Wednesday. The different topics were: Core Longings and Love, Sin and Dysfunctional Behavior, Processing Our Hurt, Forgiveness and Moving Forward. Within this retreat we went through many different things regarding internal healing and I won't be able to describe exactly what we did. But before the retreat I honestly wasn't sure what the Lord would reveal to me that I needed healing from, as with anything regarding healing you never know what the Lord may bring up to you that you need to receive healing for. But God's so good and wants us to receive His Divine Healing in all areas of our lives, even things where we may think we're "fine" and don't need to receive healing. But in all the moments, no matter when and where we've experienced pain and brokenness the Lord wants us to be HEALED.
In the retreat they went over that we need to expect Him to move in our lives, and lay our hearts before Him and trust Him. During one of the sessions the Lord brought up to me memories from the past where I'd experienced hurt and pain, and He wanted me to hand it to Him-- He wanted me to fully process what had happened in those memories. In the retreat they talked about how, sometimes, in our faith we can tend to think that all we need to do for moments when we're hurt by others is "put a blanket of forgiveness on it" and just forgive and forget about it and it's all good. But they talked about how the Lord doesn't want us to do that. Yes, He wants us to forgive whomever hurt us--But He wants us to give Him the hurt, He wants us to process it and allow Him to help us to be healed.
The memories that came up for me were things that I didn't even remember until the Lord brought it back to my mind. He showed me that He was there within those moments, and that it was okay to feel hurt by what happened and then release it all into His hands and it was beautiful and healing to do so. If you ever have a chance to go to healing retreats, I encourage you to do so. There are so many things we can be struggling with that the Lord can help us to receive healing for, emotionally, spiritually and physically if we seek out healing.
There were other moments this week, outside of the healing retreat, where I was being stretched in a different way. Honestly I was struggling with a variety of things, things that were weighing on me that I never thought I would struggle with while being here. And I was kind of frustrated with myself that I was struggling. I thought being in a community would be wonderful, and it is, but it's totally different than anything I've ever known. One of the things I was able to realize I was struggling with was that I, in some ways, felt alone. Yes, even though I'm surrounded by an amazing community I realized that it was difficult and different for me knowing that no one here truly knows me (yet) like those I left back home. But upon realizing that struggle, I went to hand it to the Lord and ask for His help and guidance, and I was also able to discuss that struggle with one of my fellow missionary roommates and it was helpful to discuss with her.
Today as I reflected on the various struggles of adjusting to a new community this week I was reminded of something I wrote when I applied to be a missionary with FMC. Here's the part I was reflecting on today:
"I do have some moments where the idea of becoming a foreign missionary causes me to fear. I think about the fact that I don’t know other languages, and think of all the things that would be different from my life now, the struggles I could encounter, and doubting that I could handle it all. But I stop and reject the fears and remind myself that by myself I wouldn’t be able to do any of it. And I remind myself that with God nothing is impossible, and with His help I can do anything He desires me to do. And I know from experience that God likes to challenge us, and push us outside of our comfort zones and asks for us to trust Him fully."
I knew, even before I came to FMC, that I would be challenged and pushed outside of my comfort zone. And this week as I continue on this journey with FMC I definitely felt pushed outside of my comfort zone in different ways. And now that I can look back on this week and am outside of that struggle I know that even though I encountered struggles and challenges it was good as they were ways I needed to be stretched. And you know what? There are going to be more and more of those moments going forward, and I have no clue what they will be! But I'll strive to remind myself daily that with God nothing is impossible and He's with me within anything that comes my way. I was also reminded of the saints-- do you think their journeys were easy? Heck no. They had many struggles sent their way that challenged them and helped them to grow in holiness. If they had given up at the first struggle and just been like, "Um, nevermind God! I'm good where I am" we probably would have never heard about them as they may have not become great saints. So I, just like the saints, won't give up when difficulties arise within this journey the Lord has called me to. No matter what comes my way I won't turn away from doing what He's called me to, for nothing's impossible with Him and He's with me at each and every moment.
Now, let me finish off explaining the rest of this week! This week we also had a Safe Environment session, which is a program through the Diocese of Lafayette. (The session went over information to help with the prevention of and recognition of child abuse.) And then FMC assigned us our chores while we're here. My chores will be four times a week. Tuesday and Friday I'll be cleaning some areas of the FMC Office with two others for about two hours. And then Monday and Wednesday, I'll be working with the Mission Partnership Coordinator in the FMC Office and helping her with whatever she needs me to do (which could be data input/ contacting donors/ other office work etc, I won't know until Monday exactly what she wants me to do.)
They also went over some things that we'll start this upcoming week. We'll start diving into some church documents as a group, we'll also have various other sessions. On Tuesday we'll be doing a ministry called "Treasure Hunting." I'll get into that more in my post next week after we do it, but it's something I'm super excited about. We had orientation for that this week, and before we had our orientation we watched an inspiring video documentary called "Fearless." (Website where it's found: https://www.fearlessdocumentary.net/ ) I was pleasantly surprised to see some familiar faces from Michigan in that, such as Fr. Mathias Thelen, Dr. Ralph Martin and Dr. Mary Healy. If you have a chance to watch it I highly recommend it!
On Saturday we had some work projects, some of us cleaned out a trailer and then tidied up our living areas, and then we had Desert Day. Desert Day is where we each take a time of prayer and silence with the Lord. During my time of prayer I read some scripture and came across the Bible verse, "Commit your way to the Lord, trust in him and he will act." Psalm 37:5. So as I end the weekend and begin next week that is what I'm going to focus on-- committing all I do to the Lord, trusting in Him and knowing that He will act in my life.
Well, that's all for this week! Ultimately, despite the struggles within this week, I still feel blessed to be here and be on this journey! And now I wanted to take some time to share with you all some photos of Big Woods! (What they call the home base of FMC)
I've now finished week two of Intake! Time flies by fast! I was super tempted to simply keep out the difficulties of this week, but then that wouldn't be sharing exactly how this week was for me. So if I had to pick one word that would describe this week for me, it'd be stretched. Why? Because I definitely felt stretched this week. When reflecting on it, I thought of why you stretch before you exercise. You stretch so you don't strain or injure your muscles or joints, if you don't stretch you are more likely to injure yourself. And when it comes to stretching, you can encounter stretches you haven't done before, or haven't done in awhile and they are more difficult because your body isn't used to being stretched in that way, but it's definitely worth it at the end. And you continue to stretch, you don't simply do it once. You stretch before exercise, and after exercise and overtime it isn't difficult because you're used to that stretch.
This week I felt like I was being stretched inside in ways I hadn't before. And honestly it was super uncomfortable and difficult at times, but I know it was worth it in the end now looking back, as when I allow myself to be stretched by the Lord I will be that much closer to being able to run the race He has me on.
Now, in what ways this week was I stretched?
We began this week with an internal healing retreat, which we had Monday-Wednesday. The different topics were: Core Longings and Love, Sin and Dysfunctional Behavior, Processing Our Hurt, Forgiveness and Moving Forward. Within this retreat we went through many different things regarding internal healing and I won't be able to describe exactly what we did. But before the retreat I honestly wasn't sure what the Lord would reveal to me that I needed healing from, as with anything regarding healing you never know what the Lord may bring up to you that you need to receive healing for. But God's so good and wants us to receive His Divine Healing in all areas of our lives, even things where we may think we're "fine" and don't need to receive healing. But in all the moments, no matter when and where we've experienced pain and brokenness the Lord wants us to be HEALED.
In the retreat they went over that we need to expect Him to move in our lives, and lay our hearts before Him and trust Him. During one of the sessions the Lord brought up to me memories from the past where I'd experienced hurt and pain, and He wanted me to hand it to Him-- He wanted me to fully process what had happened in those memories. In the retreat they talked about how, sometimes, in our faith we can tend to think that all we need to do for moments when we're hurt by others is "put a blanket of forgiveness on it" and just forgive and forget about it and it's all good. But they talked about how the Lord doesn't want us to do that. Yes, He wants us to forgive whomever hurt us--But He wants us to give Him the hurt, He wants us to process it and allow Him to help us to be healed.
The memories that came up for me were things that I didn't even remember until the Lord brought it back to my mind. He showed me that He was there within those moments, and that it was okay to feel hurt by what happened and then release it all into His hands and it was beautiful and healing to do so. If you ever have a chance to go to healing retreats, I encourage you to do so. There are so many things we can be struggling with that the Lord can help us to receive healing for, emotionally, spiritually and physically if we seek out healing.
There were other moments this week, outside of the healing retreat, where I was being stretched in a different way. Honestly I was struggling with a variety of things, things that were weighing on me that I never thought I would struggle with while being here. And I was kind of frustrated with myself that I was struggling. I thought being in a community would be wonderful, and it is, but it's totally different than anything I've ever known. One of the things I was able to realize I was struggling with was that I, in some ways, felt alone. Yes, even though I'm surrounded by an amazing community I realized that it was difficult and different for me knowing that no one here truly knows me (yet) like those I left back home. But upon realizing that struggle, I went to hand it to the Lord and ask for His help and guidance, and I was also able to discuss that struggle with one of my fellow missionary roommates and it was helpful to discuss with her.
Today as I reflected on the various struggles of adjusting to a new community this week I was reminded of something I wrote when I applied to be a missionary with FMC. Here's the part I was reflecting on today:
"I do have some moments where the idea of becoming a foreign missionary causes me to fear. I think about the fact that I don’t know other languages, and think of all the things that would be different from my life now, the struggles I could encounter, and doubting that I could handle it all. But I stop and reject the fears and remind myself that by myself I wouldn’t be able to do any of it. And I remind myself that with God nothing is impossible, and with His help I can do anything He desires me to do. And I know from experience that God likes to challenge us, and push us outside of our comfort zones and asks for us to trust Him fully."
I knew, even before I came to FMC, that I would be challenged and pushed outside of my comfort zone. And this week as I continue on this journey with FMC I definitely felt pushed outside of my comfort zone in different ways. And now that I can look back on this week and am outside of that struggle I know that even though I encountered struggles and challenges it was good as they were ways I needed to be stretched. And you know what? There are going to be more and more of those moments going forward, and I have no clue what they will be! But I'll strive to remind myself daily that with God nothing is impossible and He's with me within anything that comes my way. I was also reminded of the saints-- do you think their journeys were easy? Heck no. They had many struggles sent their way that challenged them and helped them to grow in holiness. If they had given up at the first struggle and just been like, "Um, nevermind God! I'm good where I am" we probably would have never heard about them as they may have not become great saints. So I, just like the saints, won't give up when difficulties arise within this journey the Lord has called me to. No matter what comes my way I won't turn away from doing what He's called me to, for nothing's impossible with Him and He's with me at each and every moment.
Now, let me finish off explaining the rest of this week! This week we also had a Safe Environment session, which is a program through the Diocese of Lafayette. (The session went over information to help with the prevention of and recognition of child abuse.) And then FMC assigned us our chores while we're here. My chores will be four times a week. Tuesday and Friday I'll be cleaning some areas of the FMC Office with two others for about two hours. And then Monday and Wednesday, I'll be working with the Mission Partnership Coordinator in the FMC Office and helping her with whatever she needs me to do (which could be data input/ contacting donors/ other office work etc, I won't know until Monday exactly what she wants me to do.)
They also went over some things that we'll start this upcoming week. We'll start diving into some church documents as a group, we'll also have various other sessions. On Tuesday we'll be doing a ministry called "Treasure Hunting." I'll get into that more in my post next week after we do it, but it's something I'm super excited about. We had orientation for that this week, and before we had our orientation we watched an inspiring video documentary called "Fearless." (Website where it's found: https://www.fearlessdocumentary.net/ ) I was pleasantly surprised to see some familiar faces from Michigan in that, such as Fr. Mathias Thelen, Dr. Ralph Martin and Dr. Mary Healy. If you have a chance to watch it I highly recommend it!
On Saturday we had some work projects, some of us cleaned out a trailer and then tidied up our living areas, and then we had Desert Day. Desert Day is where we each take a time of prayer and silence with the Lord. During my time of prayer I read some scripture and came across the Bible verse, "Commit your way to the Lord, trust in him and he will act." Psalm 37:5. So as I end the weekend and begin next week that is what I'm going to focus on-- committing all I do to the Lord, trusting in Him and knowing that He will act in my life.
Well, that's all for this week! Ultimately, despite the struggles within this week, I still feel blessed to be here and be on this journey! And now I wanted to take some time to share with you all some photos of Big Woods! (What they call the home base of FMC)
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| Community House where we have talks and meals, this is where I'm staying during my time here. |
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Relic of St. Therese of Lisieux that we have in the chapel currently, here feast day is October 1st! She's the patron saint of missionaries and my Confirmation saint!
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| Beautiful Louisiana! |
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FMC Chapel which is just a very short walk from where I'm staying.
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| Enjoying some free time in the Community house. From left to right: Dan, Michael, D.J, Emma Grace, Kim, Emily and me. |
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Something you'll find a lot: Random praise and worship jam sessions going on! From left to right: Luigi, Mary Claire and Kelli.
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This is the room in the Community House where we have community morning prayer/ praise and worship, and talks.
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